Kara Wahlgren

wordsmith. grammar champion. picture taker.

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Archives for August 2011

Proof I Haven’t Really Grown Up Since College

August 31, 2011 by admin Leave a Comment

Watching my nieces and nephews packing up for college, I can’t help feeling a little bit nostalgic for my own college days. Let’s be real, college was probably the last time my modus operandi seemed completely valid and appropriate — it’s not like I was the only one skipping work to watch The Wedding Singer, eating cold pasta for breakfast, or ignoring the piles of laundry that were slowly turning into a makeshift area rug.

I think my mom took this photo to shame me into cleaning. Didn’t work.

Yeah, that’s my comfort zone.

Of course, I’d never trade my life now for anything — not even for the chance to relive my Golden Era of Laziness. But lately, I’m starting to realize that I don’t have to. The more I think about it, the more my two boys are a lot like my old college roommates. And in many ways (sleep deprivation, bad eating habits, copious amounts of procrastination) my life hasn’t changed all that much. I just don’t have to write thesis papers anymore!

Here are a few ways my boys help me relive my glory days.

1. I live with two people who like to drink until they pass out. Naptime really isn’t much different from 2 a.m. at the Knight Club.

2. I’ve found myself debating whether my jeans have enough puke on them to warrant a change of clothes.

3. I buy myself a sleeve of chocolate chip cookies, and before I even get to eat one, they’ve mysteriously disappeared.

4. My housemates generate 90% of the dirty dishes but do 0% of the cleaning.

5. I’ve discovered creative uses for orange-flavored vodka — like cleaning permanent marker off of my computer monitor. (Works in a pinch when you don’t have rubbing alcohol in stock.)

6. There are empty bottles under the couch, raisins trampled into the carpet, and I recently found a half-eaten slice of pizza in my desk drawer.

7. I wake up with every intention of doing something productive, but usually end up on the couch watching Nickelodeon all day.

8. Several times a week, I’m woken in the middle of the night by someone in the hallway yelling gibberish.

9. I go to the bathroom and find that someone has peed next to the toilet and unrolled the TP into the trash can.

10. When anyone asks about my day, I pretty much highlight the educational stuff we did (flash cards, puzzles) and skim over the other details.

Filed Under: random Tagged With: having kids is like college

RECIPE: Hurricane Chicken Kabobs

August 31, 2011 by admin Leave a Comment

Let me start by saying: The recipe is under the photo, so if you don’t want to read the whole post, just skip to the picture like you’re reading a dirty magazine.

Now. Like most of the eastern seaboard, I’ve spent the past few days being pretty preoccupied with hurricane talk. I live in one of the states that doesn’t get eleventy billion hurricanes a year, and I get panicky during a mild thunderstorm, so I basically spent the weekend debating whether it would be better to set up a basement bunker, or flee to Pittsburgh.

My husband was decidedly unsupportive of the Pittsburgh idea, so I opted for the basement bunker. Our basement is “under renovation” at the moment, which is a nice way of saying it’s a giant dirty craphole that I won’t even walk in barefoot, let alone sleep in. So I packed up the boys and set up camp in my sister’s basement, which has wall-to-wall carpet and two TV’s. She was delighted to have our company. I’m sure of it.

Once I had set up camp in what I deemed the safest corner of her basement (namely, the corner that was farthest from her treadmill, which I was sure would become a 200-pound projectile), I put my hurricane safety plan into action:

1) Watch Adam Joseph for 14 hours straight.
2) Shit my pants every time he says “tornado warning.”
3) Text friends in North Carolina for expert survival tips.
4) Eat donuts at a possible-last-meal pace.

My plan worked, and by sheer luck, our county was hit by the nicest, gentlest part of the hurricane. The tornado warnings didn’t pan out, and my sister’s makeshift shelter didn’t even lose power. We lost power at home, but only for 15 hours. Our only “damage” was some freezer-burned ice cream.

Suffice to say we were lucky.

Anyway. Inspired by a spray-painted plywood sign at a local bar that said “We’d rather drink hurricanes,” I came up with a chicken dish based on the rum drink. I was worried it would be too sugary-sweet, but it was so fantastic that I kept asking my hubby, “ISN’T THIS FANTASTIC?!” I probably asked him 17 times. I’m not ashamed to fish for compliments. And he declared it the best thing I’ve made in months.

So. Here’s the recipe.

  • 1-2 lb. chicken breast
  • 1/2 cup cherry preserves
  • 1/4 cup pineapple syrup (this is not a fancy ingredient…just buy pineapple slices that say they’re packed in heavy syrup)
  • 4 pineapple rings, cut up
  • 1 Tbsp. garlic
  • 1 Tbsp. cumin
  • 1 Tbsp. Malibu rum
  • 1/2 cup almonds, chopped up

Cut the chicken into cubes. Mix everything but the almonds in a ziploc bag and add the chicken. Marinate it for however long you want — I did about three hours. Then skewer the chicken cubes, roll them in the almonds, and bake them at 400 degrees for 25 minutes. (I rest the ends of the skewers across a casserole dish, so the chicken juice can drip into the dish.)

It takes about five minutes to prepare, you can ignore it while it’s cooking, and it makes you look like you know how to cook Caribbean cuisine.

DISCLAIMER: On a serious note, there were a lot of towns around us that weren’t nearly as lucky in this storm. And that’s an understatement. I’m NOT making light of that — this dish is based on the beverage, not the weather event. If you want to help those affected by the weather event, go here and give the Red Cross some love.

Filed Under: recipes Tagged With: almonds, cherry, chicken, chicken kabob recipe, chicken skewer recipe, cooking with rum, hurricane chicken, pineapple, recipes, rum recipes

Why I Have Trouble Relating to Katy Perry

August 25, 2011 by admin Leave a Comment

What Katy Perry did last Friday night:

  • danced on tabletops
  • took too many shots
  • maxed her credit cards
  • got kicked out of the bar
  • went streaking in the park
  • skinny dipping in the dark
  • had a menage a trois

What I did last Friday night:

  • ate expired mac and cheese for dinner
  • skipped “free hayride night” because it looked rainy
  • did some laundry
  • refreshed my Facebook newsfeed every three minutes
  • was in bed by 11:00


Not me.

    Filed Under: random

    RECIPE: Slow Cooker Split Pea Soup

    August 24, 2011 by admin Leave a Comment

    Holy mackerel, ham is expensive! Apparently, if it’s not Easter, you’re screwed — it’s like $11 for a teeny little pig tush. Kinda defeats the purpose of being a slow-cooking cheapskate. So, I put together a split pea soup recipe that doesn’t require cooking a giant ham hock in the soup, but still tastes like porky deliciousness. I would drink this out of a straw if I could.

    • 1 lb. bag of split peas, rinsed
    • 2 c. diced ham (I just used a $2.99 pre-packaged diced ham in water)
    • 1 can of whole potatoes (dice ’em)
    • 10 baby carrots, sliced
    • 1-1/2 T. minced garlic
    • 2 T. parsley flakes
    • 1 T. Lawry’s seasoned salt
    • 1 t. black pepper
    • 5 c. hot water

    Throw everything in the pot and cook on LOW for 8-10 hours. That’s really all there is to it.

    Filed Under: recipes Tagged With: ham recipes, recipes, slow cooker recipes, soup recipes, split pea soup crock pot, split pea soup recipe, split pea soup slow cooker

    RECIPE: Slow Cooker Pulled Porkgasm

    August 23, 2011 by admin Leave a Comment

    There aren’t many sandwiches as tasty as pulled pork, and I think I’ve officially perfected my pulled pork recipe. I could seriously eat this every meal for the next year. Remind me of that resolution when I weight 300 pounds.

    • a big hunk o’ boneless pork loin
    • 1/2 cup ketchup (I like Hunt’s all-natural)
    • 1/2 cup cider vinegar
    • 1/4 cup brown sugar (don’t pack it)
    • 3 T. McCormick mesquite seasoning
    • 2 T. Tabasco Worcestershire sauce
    • 1 t. ground mustard

    Throw everything in the slow cooker and cook on LOW for 8 hours. Flip the pork loin halfway through, if you happen to be near the slow cooker. If not, no worries — I’m not sure this actually does anything except make me feel like I’m Doing Important Things like tending to dinner. About 20 minutes before you’re ready to eat, turn off the heat and shred the pork so it can soak up the tasty sauce better. I served it on Grands flaky biscuits — maybe not the healthiest choice, but delicious and totes recommended.

    Filed Under: recipes Tagged With: best pulled pork recipe, crock pot pulled pork, pork, pork recipes, recipe, recipes, slow cooker pulled pork

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